My Fourth Noble Truth

Nobu: [to Sayuri, during the sumo match] Three things matter in life: sumo, business, and war. Understand one, you know them all.But why should a geisha care? You spend your time plucking strings and dancing.
Sayuri Nitta: [to Nobu] What is sumo but a dance between giants? What is business but a dance between companies? I would like to know about every kind of dance.
~Memoirs of a Geisha

Sumo, business and war are not just about winning and losing. The dance occurs to manipulate the opponent and employ offense and defense when deemed necessary. It is not so much about physical force, the size of the army, or the weight of the wrestler than it is about how one uses his/her mind. The former are merely instruments for intimidation. The body and mind work together to create something that takes a life of its own, adjusting so quickly and in sync that the consequences you see are the culmination of practices and determination. Just as Nobu assumed she had no interest in the matter, Sayuri remarked that no one should be judged by appearances alone.

I'm not an expert on any of the three topics, but I will be starting my business soon, with the help of my parents. I've danced with them my entire life, sometimes yielding, other times pushing, stepping on each other's toes, but somehow it seems like we end up on the same side and we're not opponents at all. We go in circles and draw lines that are difficult to stay inside of, but the next step is always exciting.

This book/movie reminded me of people that spend a lifetime wishing on their own destiny, and if granted enough patience with time, your dreams are powerful enough to become a reality. Patience takes practice everyday. Listening to Thich Nhat Hanh on youtube recently, he spoke about mindfulness. I liked his reminder to take a deep inhale and exhale when you hear the phone ring, or use signals like red lights to engage yourself in breathing, not to wish upon a green light so you could travel faster. My favorite passage of his has to do with the act of washing dishes...his words are so simple yet profound in "Bathing a Newborn Buddha".

My two main tasks today were swiffering and constructing a file cabinet. Not things I enjoy doing, but I tried to remind myself to find joy in what I am doing right at that moment. With other things trickling into my mind, I can easily get frustrated when the pieces don't fit correctly, or my schedule is behind. When I breathe or do a few stretches, I can calm myself much faster than before. I believe theses little challenges add balance to our lives because when life is too easy, it becomes boring. The more challenges I face, the more time I have to practice patience.

My Third Noble Truth

If you find yourself in the Washington, DC area one day, you should stop by the Smithsonian's National Zoological Park located near the Woodley Park metro stop. With the recent earthquake in China, hundreds of pandas had to be rescued at the Wolong Nature Reserve and the Chengdu Panda Breeding and Research Center. It made me wonder whether or not animals could sense the disaster approaching, and how they choose to communicate with each other in times of panic and fright.

The other night I dreamt of a talking panda holding a group of people hostage, myself included. He chased me but eventually I got away. After looking it up in a dream dictionary, I discovered that giant pandas are a "sure sign" I'm worrying too much and my troubles are in my head. I believe this is true. Not only have I been studying for the last year, but I've been taking board exams for the past six months and I'm scheduled to take the final one in two weeks. I have stressors I never knew existed, I'm not as "chill" as I once was, and student loans are hanging over my head. I start the day with yoga and it helps to ease some constraint, but in the end I still worry about the future. I don't know when it all began, or why I can't train myself to live in this moment without a reminder. ("Don't worry, be happy") I worry that I worry too much. How terrible is that?

My Second Noble Truth

I used to be afraid of butterflies when I was a kid. Their large wings and captivating beauty intimidated me. I could admire them from a distance, but if they wanted to flutter around me, my heart raced nearly as fast and I ran. Until one day my sister sent me a magnet that said, "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."~Anonymous

This picture was taken in Mendocino, CA on a windy day while walking to a gray pebble beach. I didn't think that the butterfly would rest for my picture, but her true love came along to pose as well, assuring her that everything would be okay. Appreciating the cycle of life and the idea of metamorphosis, I knew I had nothing to fear. One day I would become my own butterfly, face adulthood and find true love. I was reminded that no matter what suffering I may be experiencing, things happen for a reason that may be unknown for many years to come. This too shall pass; I suffer because I'm human and I'm alive. To be capable and aware of your emotions prepares you with the tools for happiness. When you are finally happy, you know it because you also know what it feels like to think the world is over. In a similar way, many take their health for granted up until the moment they begin to feel sick.

Several times this week, I thought about the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism; life is suffering and its cause is desire. Every negative has a positive. Within dualism, two opposites cannot exist without the other because they are part of the same. Desire makes us believe we would be better if we had something extra in our lives, but when we receive it, we still have so much that we want and we often spend our entire lives working (to most people this means suffering). But for what? We all want different things, yet all we need is love. Why don't we spend 8 hour days working towards that? Somehow money has tricked us into thinking we can buy love when McDreamy aka Patrick Dempsey surely told me at the ripe age of 5 that we cannot.

I know $ brings opportunity for happiness, but I would rather barter my services (I'm trading a massage for golf lessons), exchange favors for meals, volunteer, live within walking distance of friends and parks, meditate, exercise outside of a gym, borrow library books, use freecycle.org and pick/plant my own food. It's not realistic for society, but I am only beginning to understand the layers of economics so please excuse my ignorance. I wouldn't want to be on a list of the richest people where your worth is described in numbers. I think I would be happier and healthier if I were free from the constant stress of not having it all or comparing myself to others. There is always someone better (or worse) than me, so I learn to take me as I am.

A friend brought it to my attention that I have achieved happiness and that the next 20 years of my life are going to be "Awesome!" which he followed with a high five. The information was startling and profound. I believe it, and from my experience, that's why I feel my life in particular is a lucky consequence of hope and faith. Our enthusiasm showed me that this is what I've been waiting for, that my life will unravel before my very eyes because I've laid the groundwork for it with the help of so many people. Now instead of fearing it, I welcome it with a warm embrace.

My First Noble Truth

It is my hope to create a dialogue about health, nutrition, mindfulness, love, relationships, patience, listening and understanding. Please feel free to contact me by email for any comments or questions you may find along the way.
This poster spoke to me during college, when I was just beginning to "find myself." Each year when I moved, I would hang this print as a reminder that if I practiced moderation and balance I would succeed at life without rushing through it. If I worried less, living for the present moment, I could enjoy myself more. The more I enjoyed myself, & some nights the more I worried, the less I slept, and that in turn led to what we call the freshman 15. It was my desire for balance that I made the commitment to have a healthier lifestyle and I realized that using an hour of sleep could make all the difference. See a related article in the Washington Post.

In a single line it says, "Those who slept the least were the biggest drinkers." This wasn't a shock to me, since I sleep very lightly after a night of drinks, waking dehydrated and sluggish. In the theory of Chinese Medicine these are symptoms of dampness and heat. Out of the six pathogenic factors to invade your body (the other four being wind, cold, dryness and summerheat), the combination of these two is the most difficult to clear from one's system. It may affect digestion, energy, clarity of thought, emotions, and the skin, among other disorders.

I don't believe there are any true benefits to drinking either. I've considered how alcohol enhances my life but at the same time I can't help but feel like it does more harm, especially long term. Not only can excessive consumption lead to addiction, impaired judgement, vomiting, weight gain, cirrhosis, brain damage, cancer and accidental death, but it has been shown to affect menstrual issues and cause infertility-in women and men. Maybe it's the lack of social interaction I've experienced lately but it surprises me that intelligent, respectful, active and beautiful people frequently choose to participate in this self-destructive behavior. It surprises me more that I feel obligated to do it with them to the point of excess.

If you're reading this and thinking about how we drank together before and I seemed to enjoy myself wholeheartedly, it's true that this is somewhat of a new epiphany for me (as recently as this morning). It won't be an easy change but I like the challenge. I believe alcohol plays a different role for everyone and it is of considerable value to explore your own habits and goals to be proactive. I'd like to be someone that can still maintain relationships without having to justify my choice or give an excuse like "I'm driving." I think I'll just start telling people I'm pregnant. I'll enjoy champagne or wine on special occasions like weddings, birthdays and celebrations with loved ones but I won't let it control my weekends anymore.

There is a reason it's called an inTOXICant and another reason we call the largest and heaviest internal organ in our body the LIVEr. Life is truth~why would I lie to myself and spend my free time drunk in a transient reality that has given me one chance to do it right?

Achieving balance is not an easy task. It's about avoiding the extremes and working on your strengths when you encounter weaknesses, or pulling back when you realize something is unnecessary. We are not often in a state of balance but we can strive for it. It is the relationship of yin and yang, which can be found anywhere, as in the thread of life and death that the author of the Tao Te Ching describes.